Loneliness
by Sweet-Roxas
Summary: Hard to explain, please just read and review. Dean getting once again told what to do, but this time it's something he doesn't want to do. He finally gives Sam a choice, and all Sam has to do is choose. May turn angsty later, rating may go up as well.
1. Chapter 1

-1

Sam sighed as he opened the door to their motel room, they had been in this same, sleepy town for almost three weeks, and why? Because John had said that he was supposedly coming to this town to see Sam and Dean but so far no trace of their father what-so-ever. Sam wanted to leave he wanted to move on, but Dean kept complaining that John would come. Dean was being the stubborn one, Sam knew that Dean really just wanted to see John again.

Looking all over America for their father was hard work, especially when he's way too good at being subtle and untraceable.

Sam jumped and quickly armed himself with his knife that he always kept handy as he saw a shadowy guy in the room and Dean was fast asleep in his bed. Sam approached the man slowly, making no sound at all, the man's back was turned. Though when he was near enough to the man, the man attacked bringing Sam to the ground; easily disarming Sam.

"Sam, I thought I taught you better then that" A voice Sam could easily enough recognise.

"Dad?" Sam asked slowly, the man climbed off of Sam. The moonlight reflecting on the man's face, showing that it was really John. "You finally came, Dean and I have been waiting for a long time" Sam said, a tiny bit over excited.

"Sam keep your voice down, will you" Sam raised an eye brow when John said this, it almost sounded that he wanted Dean to stay asleep.

"Why?" Sam asked, turning slightly to look at Dean, who was peacefully sleeping, though all the blankets were messed up and was hardly covering Dean to keep him warm (I'm sorry but he is wearing clothes)

"I don't want to wake your brother" John answered simply, Sam's suspicions were correct.

"But I thought you wanted to talk to us"

"No, I wanted to talk to you" John said, sitting down on one of the chairs at the table. Sam was confused since when did John just want to talk to him, though Sam reluctantly sat down as well.

"Well, what's up dad?" Sam asked, yet again casting another glance to Dean. John leaned back slightly yet, his glance didn't move from Sam.

"I want you to stop looking for me" John said, simply enough.

"But why? Dean would never go for it" Sam replied, wondering where the hell John was going with this.

"That's exactly why, I came now. Sam, I don't want you boys to get hurt. I received your message that time when Dean nearly died, and the other one that he sent me warning about you. I realise it's too dangerous for you now, there's more stronger, angrier demons and spirits and I refuse to get you kids hurt because of me"

"Dad, that's not your choice, I might be able to stop sure. But what about Dean, Dad, hunting is in his blood. It was something he was born to do, you can't stop him" Sam reasoned to John.

"No, I know that. But Sam, you can, Dean will-" Sam cut him off.

"No way, your not going to use me, just to convince that Dean can't go hunting any more. It's not fair to Dean, he's had to put up with us and now you want to do this to him. No, I wont let you do that" Sam said, raising his voice slightly.

"Sam, keep it down. I know that Dean has been through a lot, and I cant let him get himself hurt over fighting the demons. There're getting stronger!"

"Why don't you just order to stop hunting, he listens to you when you order him around like a solder" Sam retorted, rolling his eyes at his father.

"Don't take that tone with me Sam"

"Dad? Sam? What the hell are you guys arguing about this time, can't leave you to alone together can I?" Dean said, rubbing his eyes, sitting up. John half stood and half stumbled.

"Dean" John said quickly.

"About time you got here" Dean said with a half hearted smile. John wasn't expecting this to happen, but he knew that nothing usually went he's way. Sam was switching gazes between Dean and John, Dean had no idea of what they had been talking about, he only heard their voices yet again growing loud and angry.

"Dean, your awake" Dean started looking between his too family members, then just stared at Sam silently trying to get him to tell Dean what had happened. Though Sam didn't say anything, he wasn't the one that wanted to get Dean to stop hunting after all.

"What's going on?" Dean asked, unsure he wanted to even know.

"Yeah Dad, why don't you tell him what you were telling me?" Sam said, his eyes unflinching as he noticed the anger in his father's eyes.

"Alright" John turned to look directly at Dean. "I want you to stop hunting" Dean almost choked on air.

"What are you talking about?"

"Exactly that. Stop hunting, for your own good"

"No" Dean said, making sure John heard.

"That's an order Dean, stop hunting" Dean bit his tongue, knowing if he didn't he would have a go at the old man. Dean didn't dare look away though, he wouldn't give up just because he was younger and the son, didn't mean much to Dean.

"What? No"

"Dean, listen to me, everything getting harder to fight. You will not fight any of them, understand"

"So what!? You just want me to wait around for you to die? I wont do it" Dean angrily replied to John. John sighed, this was exactly why he didn't want to be around when Dean woke up.

"It's not like that Dean. Just do what I say, and don't ask questions about it okay?" John said, in his stern and demanding voice that always got Dean to listen. Dean hung his head, he could never easily say no to John, but this was his life the one thing he had always been good at. Like he could get another job any way, with what he knew, there was no way he could go normal. He was sometimes even against the word normal, get a normal job, live a normal life- Dean couldn't do that.

"Fine" Dean said, without looking up at John. He could tell however, that both Sam and John would be staring at him, astonished looks on their faces. John smiled and placed his hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Thankyou Dean-"

"But where are we supposed to go?" Dean murmured. John looked back to Sam without removing his hand from Dean's shoulder.

"Sam, you can go back to collage. And Dean, I'm sure a lot of people would want you working with them. I have to go though, I'm not sure if someone followed me. I'll see you boys later, keep safe" With that John removed his hand from Dean's shoulder and walked out, almost as quickly as he had gotten Sam to the floor. Sam turned back to Dean, who was still sitting on the bed.

"Dean, that's not like you" Dean looked up at Sam, smiling. "Dean? What are you smiling about?" Sam asked, very much confused.

"You think I'm gonna stop just because he told me too" Dean answered, smirking at John falling for it.

"Dean, maybe, Dad's right. Maybe we should stop, even if it's just for a while" Sam said slowly.

"Whoa Sam, no, you just want to go back to collage don't you?"

"No, at least not yet" Sam just couldn't tell Dean that he desperately wanted to go back, though part of him knew he couldn't.

"Whatever, alright, if you want to go then go. I'm not going to stop you, I'm going back to sleep" Dean answered, in a dull voice. He laid back down and pulled the blankets up with him, soon falling back to sleep.

In the morning, Dean expected Sam to be there, sleeping right beside him. He didn't expect Sam to actually leave and just leave a note.

"_Gone back to collage, give yourself a break Dean. If you don't it'll kill you, anyways, if you need to talk, call me-Sam"_

Dean swallowed hard, he's brother left him. He wasn't going to go after Sam, he knew Sam chose what he wanted, Dean couldn't change that. Not now anyway, not after what he said last night of just letting him leave. The worst thing, was that Dean had no control over the whole situation. He felt powerless, and now, completely alone.

Note: Please review, and thanks for reading :-) This may not seem like a one shot, sort of story but it is, I guess I can continue this if any one thinks that it should be continued. But yeah.


	2. Chapter 2

-1

Dean was sitting on the end of the hotel bed, he had been for almost the last three hours; thinking of what and where he was supposed to do. Deciding just to stay there for another three hours Dean sighed.

He was seriously thinking of going to either get Sam and drag his arse back to their hotel, letting Sam stay at collage and go take a normal job near the collage Sam was attending or just leave to the next town that may or may not need he's help. 

In the end Dean knew that he couldn't go see Sam, because deep inside he always needed Sam and this time he wasn't going to give in. And the second option seemed to be one Dean detested but knew it was the one that he was going to take.

So now, Dean was siting in the Impala, he was on the way to that collage of Sam's-he forgot the name of it- and peeked to the side of passenger side where Sam would be if he didn't let him go.

He knew that he always said the most stupidest things and it always ended up hurting him, even when he tried to do something right. It was going to take a while to reach the collage, which meant Dean would have more time that wasn't needed to think.

He arrived at the collage at ten in the morning, he saw Sam at the front gate-surrounded by a group of people, probably Sam's friends. Dean stayed in the Impala and watched Sam, he was the happiest Dean ever saw him, and yet that made Dean's heart brake that extra inch that was going to pull him over the edge.

He could, of course, tell Sam how he felt, then maybe all this would be over. Dean couldn't tell Sam how he felt though, he never told anyone how he felt. Not unless it was necessary that is.

As Dean continued to watch he couldn't endure this any more, and pulled out of the car park and to the nearest hotel possible.

So there he was, yet again, alone and sitting on the end of the hotel bed, thinking of what he's choices were now. As he's stomach growled he knew where to go, the nearest bar for food, drink and of course other people-normal people.

Dean sighed, he didn't usually go anywhere without Sam anymore, but knew he was going to get used to it one way or another. So Dean walked down to the local bar, Dean didn't feel in the mood to drive the Impala.

He walked the almost empty streets, the only thing that he could see was the things that were rested underneath the streets lights. Dean made it to the bar safely and opened the front, half casual, half alert for anything supernatural like.

Though when nothing jumped out of him, he rested on the bar stool, ordering a shot of vodka, sure he hated the taste but he wasn't about to complain. Besides the drink was there just to make him drunk, something that he really felt he needed at the moment.

A women and two guys came up and sat close to Dean, he didn't bother with what they wanted or whether they wanted anything at all. Dean sculled his drink and ordered another, that was when the women smiled and moved over to Dean.

"Hey, you right there. You look depressed" The women smiled, was she trying to flirt with him or something, cause Dean really wasn't in the mood.

"I thought bars were the place depressed people went" Dean replied, deciding not to look at her.

"Wow, what happened? It must've really been bad" How would she even know what bad was. Dean sculled the other shot and quickly ordered another. The women smiled.

"I can give you something that is way better then getting all pissed face" She stated, slightly leaning towards Dean. Dean turned quickly and startled her making her stumble back slightly.

"And what is that?"

"I'm not sure whether I can trust you or not, but because you look like Shit. I guess it doesn't matter this one time. Come with me" She said, placing her hand on Dean's arms and pulled him towards the exit, Dean quickly put a fifty on the counter and followed the women.

The two guys that were with her, waited inside, they knew what was going on. Dean leaned against the wall, they were behind the bar, and now Dean either wanted that thing to make him feel better or he simply wanted to go back inside and drink more.

"Okay, give me your arm" The women ordered, Dean slowly and reluctantly obliged. He held out his arm which she grabbed with her hand, she pulled something out of her pocket but Dean didn't see what.

"What is that?" Dean asked, a little on edge. He felt something sharp going into his arm where a needle would go when there're getting blood tests. He couldn't see it because that women was blocking his view. She quickly pulled out the needle and smiled.

"There ya go, should work in a matter of minutes. I gotta go, here call me…if you want" She said, slipping a card into his shirt pocket.

Dean tried to follow her but the thing she injected him with was already working and he fell to the ground. He stood and looked around, everything was blurry. Dean shook his head and tried to walk again but he still couldn't walk properly.

This 'thing' wasn't working for Dean, he just felt crappier then he did before. He didn't try to move again but instead sat on the side of the road. That's when things seemed to go crazy, he started hearing voices, and seeing things. He wasn't sure what happened after that because he was sure he passed out.

He woke, though he made sure his eyes remanded shut tight. Dean rolled to his side, and realised he was on a bed, it was quite comfy and it defiantly wasn't the hotel bed and it wasn't the side of the road.

Dean slowly and carefully opened his eyes, the sun was shining on him, and it felt like it was burning his eyes. Dean quickly closed his eyes and rolled to the other side, he opened his eyes again, and saw that there was a drip machine thing that attached to him.

Dean had no idea where he was, he thought it was a hospital which would make sense with the whole drip machine and the clothes he was in, he was wearing a white shirt that had a yellow smiley face on it, the shirt seemed many sizes to big for him, and black pants. Dean didn't move for another fifteen minutes until he felt that he's eyes could face the sun again. He stood and walked towards the door, though when he tried to open it, it was locked.

Dean looked outside the door by the little peep hole and saw people walking around with happy looking pictures on their shirts which Dean so didn't like. A women dressed in the same happy colours as all the other people except she seemed more, important then everyone else.

She opened Dean's door and walked in, Dean kept a close eye on her.

"Hello, I'm doctor Melissa Charles. And your Dean Winchester, am I correct?" Melissa said, talking to Dean almost as if he was a baby.

"Where am I?" Dean asked, refusing to answer any of her questions.

"Your at happy care rehabilitation centre. Specially for drug users and suicidal cases Though there are a few other types of people who stay here."

"What's that supposed to mean!?"

"You hurt yourself and you've taken a drugs" She answered simply.

"What, I haven't hurt myself. And so what, with the drugs, I needed them to help me feel better" Something inside Dean's head was telling himself that he was simply getting into deeper and deeper trouble.

"Hmm 'you needed them?' sounds a lot like a drug addict to me" She slightly pointed to his arms, which had a few bandages on each arm.

"What!?" Dean cried out, he was very confused. He didn't hurt himself, he would never…apart from slowly killing himself with alcohol.

"It appeared that they were cut and scarred, badly" Dean didn't remember anything, which really did not help the situation much.

"So, it could've been anything!" Dean yelled to the women.

"Calm down, so then. How did you get them?" She asked, Dean clenched his teeth together and looked away. "Ah, you can't remember. But that's okay, we're here to help you get off the drugs" Melissa said with a bright smile. There was a knock on the door.

"Come in"

A man came in, he was holding a small bag and a chart.

"Hello, I'm here to take a blood sample" The man casually stated. Melissa nodded.

"This is Dean, Dean this is Doctor Smith. He needs to take a blood sample from you" She was talking to Dean like he was a freaking child. He's life was at an all time low, and without Sam or John to help him out, he was going to be stuck there for a while.

Dean now knew, he really, really hated his life, and the way he had been raised. He was going to try to escape, but for now he just wanted to sleep. Though first, he was pretty sure that they weren't going to let him until they had their 'precious' blood sample. Dean had to think of a way to get out fast.

Note: Please let me know what you think. Thanks to all who reviewed and encouged me to put up a second chapter. Hope you liked it…:-)


	3. Chapter 3

-1Dean rolled his eyes, everyone seemed to be acting so…happy, it was pathetic. Dean had a plan, he was going to get away, he needed to get away. What if Sam was in danger, there would be no one there to protect him.

And that was what made him seem so crazy, though he didn't suit this place. He didn't do drugs, he wasn't that type of guys, yet trying to tell the 'helpers' was harder then trying to convince John that toasters are very easy to handle and that yes, one day he may be able to work one properly.

Dean didn't think he was crazy, was that the reason why he was there. Perhaps a demon was finally able to get him, separate him from his family. Maybe the demon was after his family this entire time, he just had to wait until Dean was good and proper locked up in a happy place like this.

There was one way to escape and that required running and strength, which Dean had. He had been calculating when the guards would walk past, so far they walked around every 10 minutes. It was his chance now. Dean waited until they were all the way down the hall before Dean started quick walking towards the exit.

He was on the third level or something, the stairs was only so far away, Dean continued to walk, if he ran then they would figure out what he planned. Once however he exited the door, one of the men that had been on a break saw Dean walking quite quickly towards the door.

"Hey!" Dean turned around to the man and smiled, before turning back and made a run for it. The man called for others to come, which unfortunately for Dean came on the right side of Dean. He bolted down the hall til he reached the stairs and jumped like every third step. He nearly made it to the second floor though there was a lock on the door which was the only way to continue down the steps to get to the first floor.

Dean being extremely good at beating down doors, had trouble with this door (just his luck) The men were fast approaching, at least five men. Dean grunted with effort as he finally was able to open the door.

He jumped down the next flight of steps easily, what he didn't expect was that a few security guards waiting at the bottom for him. Dean didn't stop, he bashed a few of them on his way past but finally got to the front door.

He didn't stop running, even when his legs were ready to fall off he didn't want to stop, he couldn't stop he needed to know if Sam was okay. He felt so stupid this made him seem crazy, maybe they got him for a good reason, but know he didn't care, if they ever knew what he had been through then they might've understood.

He didn't even know where he was going, so when he stopped outside Sam's university, Dean, no matter how much he knew he should've stayed away walked in. Dean searched everywhere until he saw a small group of young adults, Dean smiled.

He saw little Sammy, laughing, not knowing what had gone on with Dean. Dean's legs were shaking badly, he had no idea how long he had ran for. Sam looked up and saw Dean leaning against the wall for support, when Dean knew that Sam was looking at him Dean waved and smirked before he's legs buckled underneath him and he fell to the ground.

Sam ran to his brother, helping Dean off the ground. Sam's concerned eyes were enough for Dean to know that he was still loved, even though Sam hadn't said anything Dean knew it.

"Dean, what the hell happened? Are you okay?" Sam asked, forcing Dean to sit down on a bench chair, a few of Sam's friends were watching them, none of them had met Sam's brother but yet they knew that Dean was.

"I'm fine Sammy. Don't worry about me, are you okay?"

"…I'm fine, Dean" Sam looked away, he didn't expect for Dean to go after him. "I'm sorry I left you. It's just I-"

"Don't Sam, it's okay alright. I gave you the option, you chose life, I'm fine with that. It'll take a while to get used to not having my geek brother around helping me though" Dean said, smirking. Sam always got him out of trouble.

And sure, Sam didn't know where Dean was during the time they were away, he was pretty sure Sam didn't need to know either.

"No, Dean, look. I'll quit school, I'll go hunting with you" Sam said, feeling far to bad leaving Dean behind again.

"You look so happy though" Dean said, recalling seeing Sam's face with his newly acquainted friends.

"I don't care, I was happy hunting with you. As long as I'm not alone" Dean smiled but didn't say anything. He knew the feeling of being alone, every day he had to face it though now he had Sam, and he knew that as long as he had Sam by his side then he wouldn't care what happened to him.

"Well, we gotta go now then" Dean said, the people may have been still looking for him.

"Where's the Impala?"

"Outside the hotel place I was staying at. Lets go" Dean said, he felt so much better. He finally had Sam to lean on again, sure he acted tough but he was sure the only one who could see through his defences was Sam.

Note: Hope you enjoyed, yes that was the last of it. I would've continued it further but sad to say my heart wasn't in it.


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